This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
