Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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