If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
