I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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