I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
