she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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