cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
