im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
