coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
