wrigley field is MILF paradise
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
