Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
