First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
