Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
