I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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