I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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