hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
