I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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