STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's shark week go big or go home
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
