I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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