So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
