bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
