Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
