Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
