i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
