ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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