Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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