Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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