Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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