yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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