I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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