i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
