I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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