I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
