Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
