in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
