whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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