Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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