The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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