shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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