im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
