That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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