Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm at about main and main street
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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