how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
