would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
