awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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