I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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