Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
