Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
