He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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