does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
